After the Fact
by Ogehsim
Summary: Shego looked up at Drakken from the floor. "So... what are you here for? Selling Pixie muffins? Delivering my magazine subscription? Dr. Director wants you to convince me to do daring deeds for the good of GJ and humanity too if possible?" COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

_**Long-Rambling (but semi-important) A/N:**__ So at long last I'm actually publishing a multi-chaptered fic. _

_Background:_ _I wrote this last year for English class. Throughout the year we were given a list of vocab and had to use 10 out of 20 words in a chapter of a story that would be 10 chapters long - 1 chapter for each vocab list (I've added an extra elevnth chapter). This is why there are some seemingly sporadic words that aren't really consistent with the level of the rest of the vocabulary scattered throughout the story._

_Beta:__ by Donteatacowman!_

_Disclaimer:__ Me? Own? :doubles over laughing:_

_I'm done now. Enjoy!_

* * *

The flower-covered alpine lair and the jungle tree-house lair had both been destroyed by the Lorwardian four-legged walker-things. The tree-house hideaway was the more salvageable of the two, so together they had rebuilt one room of the complex and lived there, giving themselves a bit of time to recover from the ordeal before once again jumping into the trying business of finding yet another lair, and more henchmen, and supplies for more death rays. Of course, it wasn't a complete vacation, as they needed at least one more room, and the construction was rather arduous, especially without any henchmen who, although never especially bright, usually had enough hands between them to be useful.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Shego knew she should take advantage of the world-wide chaos and go steal some top-secret and/or expensive items while emergency and law services were stretched so thin that their effectiveness was rather nebulous at best, but she had been feeling rather apathetic since they had won, and Drakken wasn't ranting at her, so she really had no motivation to carry out the processing of developing and acting on the thought.

She laid there, feeling as the sun came through the cracks in the wall and window to rest on her, and she rolled to face away from the offending rays and pulled the thin, ratty blanket over her face for good measure. It was nice having a dearth of responsibilities: no rants to listen to, no henchmen scurrying about, no Kim to fight, no too-big rock lair shrouded in shadows and doors that went "whoosh" until it drove you insane. Of course, she did miss her cot. She could sleep adequately on the floor, but it was definitely getting old fast.

Also, since they had only managed to rebuild one room so far, she and Drakken both slept in this room, though admittedly on opposite sides. He was probably nervous that she would blast him with her plasma. After all, she had never allowed him to so much as see her room, and had emphasized this restriction with a vituperation that included multiple threats of pain by plasma every time he got near the door. However, this wasn't her room, and it would hardly be fair to be that restrictive on him, at least until they got some more construction done.

She was glad he didn't snore. She might not have been able to restrain her plasma if that had been the case. Occasionally, when she was up later than him, she could watch him sleep, amused when his little vine would lethargically respond to what she could only suppose were dreams; waving about in small circles, growing and shrinking, and occasionally buffeting the floor with small, rhythmic taps. She wondered if Drakken would be stuck with his mutant flower powers for the rest of his life. Admittedly the petals around his head weren't growing back quite as quickly anymore, but the vine on the back of his neck refused to disappear.

Her thoughts were interrupted as she heard the sounds of the doctor in question begin to stir. She ignored his mutterings, and the thump as he stubbed his toe, keeping her head stubbornly under the blanket. She was not ready for another day of cutting and trimming trees and holding them as Dr. D nailed or lashed them together. Although the Doc had proven himself to be in decent physical condition, he still wasn't up to holding heavy logs for extended periods of time.

Slowly the smells of breakfast permeated her cocoon and she reluctantly got up, running her fingers through her messy bed-head. She groggily muttered her thanks to Dr. D as he handed her a plate of food, then went over to a wall where she could avert her eyes from the sunlight and prevent it from blinding her as it shone through the square hole that was a window. Neither of the two villains really talked this early in the morning, or, more accurately, this soon after waking up. As they were normally on the run, their daily "routines" were rather inconsistent.

* * *

Later, after she had sullenly tugged on her boots and gloves with much resentment towards the impending task, and after helping Drakken find his gloves while wondering why his vine couldn't get them, Shego found herself cutting down trees with her plasma, cutting them into board-like shapes, dragging them back to the site of the lair and up into the lower tree boughs where Dr. D was nailing them together to form a platform for the floor of the next room.

"Do we really have to do this, Dr. D?" she complained as she hauled up yet another pile of boards. "I mean, you have lairs all over the world, right? Why can't we go to one of those? I can get the hovercar working in about a day if you'd give me some time to work on it."

"Shego," chided Dr. D, launching into one of his rants, "All of the other lairs look like they've been host to multiple frat-boy parties! Did you not see what was left when Warmonga's instant-lair refolded? All of our lairs are like that. Every single one- in ruins!"

"Ugh. Well if _you_ didn't put a self-destruct button in every lair then they wouldn't blow up then we'd have somewhere to go other than a pile of sticks..." She slapped at the air around her, "_And_ somewhere with less mosquitoes!"

It was probably the heat, the mosquitoes, and the long nights of sleeping on wood floors that had grated upon their nerves to make them so short-tempered. Or maybe, if they had bothered to be introspective, it was the disappointment that they had saved the world from a hostile alien take-over but hadn't received so much as a thank you from temporary allies Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable, and instead had been stuck with clean-up duty while the two teens went off to graduate.

Regardless of the causes, both were particularly bellicose, and the unofficial truce that had been demonstrated by a lack of insults from either party since Warmonga and Warhok had been killed had vanished.

"Well, excuse me, Shego. I seem to recall that if _some one_ did her job, Kim Possible and the Buffoon wouldn't have the chance to blow up the lairs!"

"Well, if you wouldn't stand there _monologuing-_!"

"Monologuing an important part of villain tradition, Shego! I can't-!"

"Yeah. Uh-huh, uh-huh. I'm seein' your mouth move, but nothing comprehensible is coming out of it." Her contempt for his incompetency was fairly dripping from her words, the intensity bringing back unpleasant memories of one of the rougher patches their partnership had gone through a year or two ago.

He sputtered incoherently, trying to come up with a retort and failing. "Bu- eh- na- heh- gah- _Shego!_"

The villainess merely smirked at him and cocked her eyebrow as if to say, "See? I'm right- again."

They continued to stare, glaring daggers at each other, both expecting Drakken to give in first like he always did. However, something interrupted their silent battle. Drakken's vine grew, extending over the top of his head, then down past his forehead to dangle just between his eyes. Both Drakken and Shego stared at the pink blossom that grew at the end of the vine as it began to wave slowly back and forth, the in circles, then tracing out lazy figure eights and other figures, their eyes moving to follow its path.

Then they caught sight of each other, hands on hips, still glaring, but standing stock-still as they followed the flower's path as if it were one of those watches used for hypnotism. It was such a bizarre and unexpected scene that small smiles made themselves known, and grew until they were chuckling as the flower still waved about as if trying to regain their attention.

"Try not to hit your thumb with the hammer. It's the only hammer we have." She offered him a friendly smirk and then leapt down to the sandy soil to retrieve more boards.

Drakken muttered good-naturedly then looked about, trying to find the hammer, unaware that his vine had grabbed it and was now holding it behind his back.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Again, thanks to donteatacowman for volunteering to beta. Thanks to my 2 reviewers as well. It makes my day :)  
After this chapter, I don't plan to update until next weekend and it'll probably stay a weekly update. Between being a Junior in HS with multiple APs and being obsessively devoted to my robotics team I have too much going on in my life to actually update faster than that._

* * *

Shego collapsed, falling backwards onto the sand in relief. The good news was that the new room was almost finished; all it needed was a roof. The bad news was that completing that much work in a single day had been back-breaking. Tomorrow she would revel in the joys of once again having her own room, but for now she didn't want to see that mass of wood again for as long as she lived. The one thing she could currently be grateful for was that Drakken had finally stopped yelling orders at her. In fact, he too was collapsed onto the ground a few yards away.

She sat up and tugged off her boots, wiggling her toes in the rough sand, then stretched to reach where the highest waves just barely lapped over her toes. From the jungle behind the lair came the calls of birds and the rustling of leaves which mixed with the soft white noise of the waves. It was all rather peaceful, and made one feel rather lethargic, like the effort of standing was too much and you could just lie there forever listening to the song. Her thoughts started to drift. What if she wasn't on the run from the law? Then she maybe she could have a little house on the beach and she could do this every evening, and the house would never be blown up, and she wouldn't be living in a new place every month or so, and there would be no more henchmen to deal with, she could sleep whenever and as late as she wanted...

Drakken watched Shego, trying to decipher her cryptic expression. Normally he had problems deciphering her emotions. With the exception of the moodulator incident, she kept them well hidden, except for anger and boredom. Now, however, she was even more indecipherable than ever. He wondered if he dared say anything. Shego was rather capricious when it came to her reactions and you could never predict if it would cause you bodily harm or not.

So instead he got up and started preparing dinner. However, when he went to pull out a log from the pile to make a fire, the entire pile collapsed and rolled away. Shego rolled her eyes, and got up, grabbing a few of the logs. She piled them together and set them on fire with her plasma while Drakken gave her a sheepish smile.

"Honestly, you are such a klutz," she glared at him, but it lacked her normal supercilious attitud.e.

"What have we talked about hurting with our words, Shego?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now will you make dinner? I'm starving."

"Only if you help me."

They both stood there in shock. Drakken wondered where he had gotten the nerve to be so brazen towards Shego, and was wondering whether his outburst would have unpleasant consequences.

Shego couldn't believe he had asked her. "Me? Help you _cook_? Have you forgotten what happened the last time I tried to cook?!" That had been one lab that Kim Possible didn't have to come and destroy.

"Well, then I'll teach you," he blustered, trying very hard not to let his apprehension show. Forget being burned by plasma; Shego would make his life miserable until the end of time in retribution for this stunt.

To his surprise, Shego agreed, "Fine. But if you try to make me wear that pink apron there is nowhere in this _universe_ you can hide!"

* * *

Neither was surprised when the dinner turned out rather burned in some parts, undercooked in others, and what might have been edible was a strange purplish-gray that did not encourage its consumption.

Dauntless as ever, Shego had dared to try a chunk of an indeterminate blue-purple color, only to spit it out quickly. Now she sat cross legged on the ground staring grumpily at the blob that was supposedly food. "I told you I don't cook."

"Yes, but look on the bright side, you didn't blow up the campsite, and we still have all of our fingers." Drakken was standing, pushing at his sludge and wondering if it had just moved on its own.

"Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it," she muttered under her breath.

"What's that?" Drakken asked as he looked away from his sludge that had just climbed up his arm and was now making its escape down his leg.

"Pessimism," she answered absently. The blob was crawling across the ground into the jungle, and Shego shot a careless bolt of plasma towards it, and its slow trundling picked up just a bit of speed until it was lost amongst the foliage. Shego's blob had merely disintegrated into a slimy, somewhat gelatinous puddle. She stared at it with interest, "Looks a bit like cafeteria food."

It was an odd image, his normally formidable henchwoman sitting cross-legged on the ground, her bare feet poking out, her head cocked just a bit as she examined her blob with wide-eyed interest, the whole image resembling curious child. He couldn't help but laugh, and when she demanded what was so funny he could think of nothing to say to placate her. Nothing plausible, anyway. Her eyes narrowed as she listened to his stumbling excuse of a giant squid wearing a tutu doing some sort of water ballet with sea lions. Admittedly it wasn't his best lie.

She threw her plate to the ground and stormed off, leaping easily through the broken branches of the tree that had housed the lair until she disappeared in a particularly dense patch of leaves.

Drakken sighed. They had been getting along so well since the alien invasion, with the exception of the morning's spat, and now it seemed they were regressing into their normal patterns of behavior. He knew better than to go after her, not that he could climb up to Shego's perch; it wasn't worth risking a broken neck to try.

* * *

Drakken was sleeping in his corner when he was awakened by a crack, a harsh rustling of leaves, a few whispered expletives, and then silence. He waited, half fearing that it was some wild jungle cat come to eat him, until the logical part of his brain reminded him somewhat rudely that a wild animal can't whisper expletives. That meant it must be Shego. The first thought that occurred to him was not why was she only just returning this late at night, but instead, did she just _slip_? Shego was never ungraceful.

However, everything was silent now. Most likely she was making sure that he hadn't woken up. Hadn't woken up... Hmm, what if he made a device to influence the electric pulse of people's brains so that they wouldn't wake up? He could use it to... No, that wasn't important right now.

He cracked open an eye, looking through his lashes, and hoped that if it was Shego returning, she wouldn't notice him watching. It was silent for a few more moments and everything was still, and then a silhouette blocked out the stars. The shadow crouched there, perfectly still, perfectly unmoving. The chest did not rise and fall with breath, the hair was not stirred by the breeze; the figure merely crouched there.

What seemed to be an hour later, a foot was lowered, and as it passed through a stray moonbeam he realized that Shego was still barefoot; her boots were still on the beach where she had left them hours ago. That was probably the reason for her uncharacteristic slip; the tree moss could be very slick without proper footwear.

Another foot emerged, then legs, waist, torso, and arms, the face remaining shadowed by the curtains of raven black hair. She sank down to the floor next to where her blanket had been pushed aside that morning. Then she stopped and turned her head in his direction. Quickly he shut his eyes tightly, and gave a small childlike snore. He could sense her smirk, and he didn't dare open his eyes again. Nearly 30 minutes later when he did dare to look, she was lying on the floor, back turned to him, feet covered with the blanket, but he couldn't tell if she was asleep or not. However he was tired, so he rolled back over, and, mourning the loss of his teddy bear and comfy striped pyjamas, he drifted off into slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Weekly update as promised. Thanks again to Donteatacow for beta-ing, and the standard disclaimer applies.

* * *

_

Chapter 3:

Shego awoke, reluctantly blinking away the somnolence. As she groggily took in her surroundings she realized that there were no smells of breakfast, nor for that matter, any sign of Drakken at all. She sat up, pushing her hair out of her face and rubbing her eyes, trying to get used to the warm morning light. She threw the blanket to the side, stood and stretched, and looked about the room.

Outside the sun was higher than it should have been; she must have slept later than she had intended. On the floor besides her were her boots, right next to where she had placed her gloves the previous night. She tugged them on then went outside to find Drakken. To her astonishment he was perched on top of the ramshackle box they had constructed the day before, and was wielding a hammer, nails clutched between his teeth, and his vine struggled valiantly with a rather ponderous beam of wood. She wondered why they hadn't thought of utilizing the vine like that before.

With her natural stealth she quickly slipped under the beam and grasped it, steadying the wood until the vine grew and coiled around until it had a firm hold on the plank. With that done she swung herself up to Drakken's perch. "Morning, Dr. D," she said with sarcastic alacrity. If she had it her way, she would still be sleeping. However, her stomach was adamantly refusing.

"Nnh-gah-bed-men-na," muttered Drakken around the nails.

"See, you might think that after all these years, I might be able to understand you when you talk like that. You'd be mistaken."

Drakken spit out the nails. "So, you're up."

"Yeah." Shego crossed her arms and scowled, daring him to admonish her. It hadn't been a good night for her. She hated when the doubts started invading her mind. She had given up being on the hero side; she was a villainess and liked life on the lawless side. There was no way on Earth she was going back; besides other things, it would be like admitting the Princess was right. All in all, there was no way she was letting the Doc chew her out this morning.

Instead of ranting, Dr. D shrugged, and turned back to hammer in another nail. The stick of metal was feeling stubborn though, and bent wildly under his swings. Grumbling, he pulled it out and tried again, only to have the second nail also crumple.

It was with a wide smirk that Shego offered, "Want me to try?"

"No!" was the defensive reply.

After three more nails, he reluctantly handed the hammer to his partner. She took a nail, gave it a small tap to hold it in place, and then with one powerful stroke, sent the nail cleanly into the wood.

Petulantly, Drakken griped, "I could have done that."

"Whatever. I don't care. It's faster if I do it, and I want breakfast, so..." It was barely 15 minutes later that the beam was secured and Shego leapt off the frame, and Drakken dropped ungracefully beside her. "Now, breakfast."

"Alright, alright. I'll stop being dilatory."

"Whoa. When did you start using the fancy vocab, college reject?"

"Drop-out, Shego! They let me in, I let myself out!" She shrugged, clearly not caring about this age-old taunt and retort. He dropped the argument, "Fine. But you're helping me."

"Hey, just because I helped you once, does not mean I'm not going to do that every time."

"But Sheeeegooooo. I hurt my finger. Seeeee?" He removed a glove and held up an index finger that was suffused with purple. "I can't cook by mysellllllf."

She clapped her hands over her ears. "Fine. Fine! Just stop whining!"

They were eating breakfast, although it was noon and probably should have been called lunch. This time, the produced mass was edible, if charred in a few places and required a bit more chewing than food normally should. As they chewed in silence, a noise foreign to the sylvan sounds that they were used to began to fill the air. It was a low, whining hum, and at first Drakken had thought it was a horde of mosquitoes come to attack them and had gone diving about to prepare a defense. However, after it had gone on for several minutes, Shego had scanned the horizon and realized that the noise came from a boat. More specifically, a motor boat that was headed right for their island.

"Look out, we've got company."

Drakken stared out the window, squinting. "I don't see anything." She sighed and pointed. Following her finger he finally saw a white speck, nearly imperceptible as it blended in with the light dancing on the waves.

Predictably, Drakken had a moment of panic. "Shego, what do we do?"

"We'll go hide in the forest, and if it's Kimmie or GJ they'll swarm the treehouse first, and that'll give us time to escape- you should have let me get the darn hovercar working- and if it's some stupid lost tourist, I'll blast them and they'll leave." She shrugged, "Simple."

"Shego, _I'm_ the leader, I'll make the plans." But after standing there for a moment, he realized he didn't have a better plan, and pointed lamely towards the foliage. "Let's go."

They waited in the jungle and watched as the motor boat pulled up just a bit offshore and a person jumped out, wading through the water towards the beach. Drakken looked at Shego; the person clearly wasn't either Kim or the Buffoon, and wasn't wearing the GJ uniform as their agents always did on a raid (the agency had never been good at true clandestine missions, despite all their "top-secret" underground bases and such). However, Shego wasn't running forward with plasma flying; instead she was squinting, trying to get a better glimpse of the person.

"Oh no," she whispered, seeming to do a double take. She shielded her eyes with her hand and looked harder, "Oh please no."

"What?" She ignored him. "Shego!" he whispered harshly in her ear, "Who is it? Shego!"

"Cool it, will you?" She said, slapping away his hand that had been about to poke her. "It's your old buddy Frugal Lucre." She was clearly not happy about the fact.

Meanwhile the man, wearing garish bermuda shorts that had undoubtedly been on clearance at Smarty Mart, had approached the treehouse and was yelling, "Hey, Dr. D! Buddy, where are you? Drakken? Anyone?"

Drakken had stood up, preparing to go talk to Lucre, but Shego grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back. "Don't you dare," she hissed.

"But Shego-" He cut short at the sign of her glowing hand. He nodded, and slowly she drew back her hand and the plasma vanished as she looked at him questioningly. He made the motion of sealing his lips, locking them, and throwing away the key. Satisfied, she nodded and turned back to watch the intruder.

After a few more shouts and a brief look inside the treehouse's room and a half, Lucre visibly shrugged then left a box that he had brought in the doorway of the completed room, waded back out to the motor boat, started it, and it roared away.

When it was well away Shego walked silently out of the jungle and towards the package as Drakken freed his foot from a particularly convoluted mass of vines and followed at her heels. The box sat there, seemingly benign. She picked it up, which was wrapped in plain brown paper, and shook it. "Well, it's not a bomb," she quipped. Dr. D snatched it from her, also gave it a brief shake and then eagerly tore it open.

Inside the box were two jumbo bags of Smarty Mart buttermints and a large envelope. Drakken eagerly opened a bag of the candies and began stuffing his face, leaving Shego to open the envelope which contained two letters. The first, written in untidy scrawl, read:

_**Hey Drakken! Kim Possible's geek kid got a hold of me and asked me to get this to you. Apparently he didn't know what lair you were in and figured I could track ya down. Anyway, mints were on sale, 2 for $0.33 and I figured you deserved a saving-the-world present.**_

_**-Frugal Lucre**_

Shego filed that away for later. If Nerdlinger didn't know where this lair was, all the better for the two of them. The second letter was written on heavy cream-colored paper, and sealed. The letter was written in a flowing script.

_**To Theodore "Drew" Lipsky:**_

_**In appreciation of your participation in recent events, the Council of The World's United Nations wishes to present you with the Knowble Prize...**_

The letter continued on, but Shego gazed at it with unseeing eyes. It had never really struck home before that Dr. D had _saved_ the Earth with the same invention that he had meant to enslave it with; the irony of that fact was now nearly tangible, but that specifically wasn't the issue at the moment.

Noticing his henchwoman's reaction Drakken leaned over her shoulder and read the letter. "Ooh, look Shego. There'll be a reception with refreshments."

Shaking herself from her stupor, Shego muttered, "Yeah, great Dr. D..." She started to walk towards the almost finished room, dropping the letter to the ground.

"Shego! A little sidekick enthusiasm wouldn't hurt."

She spun to face him. "I'm happy for you!" she yelled. "Really! Satisfied?"

"Shego-!"

"'Shego' what? Don't you get it? You're a hero now! And I helped! Do you think the other villains are going to be happy about our perfidy? We helped Kim Possible! I went to the Buffoon willingly! Not happily, but the fact is that I went, and now you're getting an award from a global peace organization! What kind of message do you think that sends? Our reputations are ruined!" Her voice had risen to a shriek and the flames danced rapidly over her hands. "Am I supposed to be happy about that?"

Drakken dropped the buttermints as if they had burned him and stared at the irate woman.

Throwing her hands into the air with exasperation, and biting her lip as she forced down the plasma with difficulty, Shego climbed to the roof of the semi-completed building and began knocking nails into a new beam with wild ferocity, as Drakken stood there, acting as if he had seen a ghost.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

The rest of the day had dragged on in protracted silence. Shego, after furiously pounding at the boards for an hour had abruptly jumped off the roof and headed to the abandoned hovercraft that had been hidden in the woods. She had dragged it out on to the beach and promptly vanished beneath it. Drakken had avoided her, the harsh words she had uttered making themselves repeatedly heard in his head.

The long term consequences of his actions hadn't made any impact in his mind before now. But not only had he saved everbody from enslavement, he hadn't taken advantage of the worldwide crisis to try to enslave them. He had failed on both accounts; or as Shego would say, had achieved "abject failure". No, it was _worse_ than that. It was in this lugubrious state that he wandered aimlessly up and down the shore. Up and down, up and down, up and down like clockwork.

* * *

Neither knew how late it was when her black locks reappeared, and her hand stopped his footsteps, and they must have communicated through telepathy for all of the words that were spoken. He cooked as she ran her fingers through her hair, easing out whatever invisible knots she sensed. There would be no banter and adventures in the extent of what was edible tonight. It was a tense and uneasy silence, neither quite daring to meet the other's eyes.

After the food was gone, dishes cleaned, Shego had returned to the hovercraft. Drakken, instead of leaving her well alone, sat next to the piece of machinery. "Shego," he started. An abstruse reply emerged from the gloomy cave beneath the vehicle, as if she were speaking around a tool clutched in her mouth. "Shego, what are you doing?"

"I'm fixing the hovercar. Doy," was the reply from the still obscured figure.

Then silence reigned again except for the occasional clank and grind of metal tool meeting metal body. Suddenly a yelp was followed by several choice words as the green-and-black clad body fairly rocketed itself from its refuge. Shego was wiping her face desperately and spitting in an attempt to rid herself of the oil that had suddenly poured onto her face. However, her attempts were doing little more than smear it across an even larger area. "Gah! Dr. D!" she yelled, as she clawed at her face, trying to get the liquid away from her eyes.

"She-! Wha-?"

"Water!" was the demand.

He grabbed her by one flailing arm, pulling her upright with enough force that she nearly fell back to the ground. Then he half-pushed, half-dragged her to the ocean, nearly tripping her multiple times in the process, until she was deep enough where she could submerge and scrub away the offending substance. Finally she emerged and staggered back up to the beach with him trailing along behind. She dropped back onto the ground by hovercraft, but just before she vanished again, a single word shot out of her mouth so quick, and grudgingly quiet that he nearly missed it. "Thanks."

"What?"

"I'm not saying it again, Dr. D." And she was gone. This time, though, the silence was not so heavy, nor so awkward... or "awk-weird" as their teenage foe would say. Then a moment later she commanded him, "Screwdriver," and shot out an impatient hand, and it was like things were back to normal between them.

* * *

Shego hauled herself out from under the contraption, wishing desperately that she had some way to clean her gloves. Drakken was patiently sitting cross-legged, building tiny towers out of sand and then crushing them. "Yo, Dr. D. Come on, it's getting late."

Drakken grumbled, annoyed slightly at being forced to tear himself away from his imaginary triumphs over Chen, Ramesh, and James Possible. "Fine." He looked up and took in Shego's appearance. Her hair, still slightly damp, was mussed and stuck up at weird angles, around her hairline she hadn't been able to banish all of the sticky oil, and there was a streak of dark lube that ran across her forehead and down to her ear.

He pointed, "She-"

"Shut up." And he did.

As they lay on the floor, Drakken decided to take advantage of the respite in hostilities and ventured, "Shego, why were you fixing up the hovercraft?"

"So we can get off this stupid island. Doy. I don't like it having Lucre knowing where we are. The man has one of the loosest mouths I've ever met." Then there was silence. After five minutes she spoke again. "And so you can go to your stupid ceremony thing." Before he could reply, she rolled over so that her back was to him.

"Shego? Shego?" There was no reply, so he too rolled over and eventually drifted off to sleep.

* * *

It was barely dawn when he was woken by a stinging slap to his face that made him bolt up. "Yeow! Was that necessary?!" he yelled, rubbing his sore cheek.

Shego shrugged. "I've been trying to wake you up for the past half hour. Tried nearly everything." It was then that he noticed he was soaked as if someone had dumped a great quantity of water on him. "Here." She roughly dropped a plate into his lap, nearly causing the contents to slide off. To his great surprise, what lay on the plate was a perfectly edible omelet.

"It's not poison," she remarked huffily as he eyed it. Quickly he shoveled some into his mouth, and then, his voice muffled by the unchewed food, he hurried to assure her that it was very good. "It would have been warmer if you had woken up sooner."

He didn't dare risk the plasma burns to ask her how she had managed to create a restaurant-worthy omelet when not too long ago her food had been crawling off the plate under its own power.

"Hurry up. I want to get back to the U.S. before one, and I couldn't fix the hyper-loop power drive without a K9-80 and a right twist 6-40." How she managed to talk technical about anything that flew, but completely butchered or forgot the names of his inventions was completely elusive to him.

With surprising quickness they had packed up what few belongings they had with them (moving from lair to lair did not encourage the amassing of knick-knacks) and they were in the air.

"When did the letter say the ceremony was?"

"Two weeks. Enough time for me to invite my 'select family and close friends'. I'm still trying to decide whether I should invite Mama or not... Either way, what happens if she finds out what I've been doing for the past several years?" He raised his voice into a mimic of Mama Lipsky. "Drewbie, how dare you lie to your mother! All these years I thought my precious boy was a radio talk show doctor and now I find out he's been trying to take over the world. No dinner for you tonight, young man!"

Shego winced at the memory of the strident voice, and the woman that produced it. "That, or she'll be blinded by the fact that 'Drewbie' saved the entire planet."

"Gah. It's all too confusing. What do you think?"

"Since when do you ask for my opinion?"

"Not the time for lip, Shego," he growled. "I'm being serious."

"How do I know? In case you don't recall, I've cut off all contact with my family for years now." Of course, that was excepting two occasions, but those times had been out of her control. "That way I don't have to deal with them."

"That's not helpful."

She shrugged. "Whatever. You might as well invite her. Can you imagine what she'd be like if she discovered you had been honored by the COWUN and _didn't_ invite her?"

"Eep!" was the only thing he had to say to that thought, his eyes darting around as if he expected Mama to pop up behind him.

Shego sighed and turned back to the dash. She was really regretting the lack of the loop drive; it would take an extra two hours to reach America and at the moment all there was to look at was blue sea, blue sky, and a blue man. She remembered how Mama Lipsky had thought that she was Drakken's girlfriend. Of course, for a brief moment the deluded woman had also thought that Kim was a "special girl", which just showed how much her vision was skewed in favor of her precious "Drewbie". The woman was the quintessential over-protective matron.

The matron who had thought she and Dr. D were together... well, together as an "item", not in the employer/employee or even almost familial relationship they did actually have. The aliens thought they were together too. Warmonga had called her Drakken's "battle-mate" and when she had protested, neither of the Lorwardians had believed her. Even Kim had teased her then. Of course it had seemed like the two of them had been closer lately, even before the invasion. It had been a rough year, between her being broken out to work for Motor Ed and Junior, and him working with Warmonga and Frugal Lucre. It seemed like that had forced them to come to an understanding that she would never truly leave him for long, at least not without notice and a reason, and that he would never fire her without the same conditions. It had to be one of the weirdest and most dysfunctional partnerships in the history of the world, but for them, mocking, ranting, yelling, ignoring, and insulting worked.

Of course, there had been that brief awkward moment when they had come so close to mirroring the hug that Stoppable and Possible had shared when Shego and Ron had infiltrated the Lowardian spaceship. They were running towards each other, arms outstretched, nearly enveloping the other in an embrace before realizing how close they were, and what they were doing, and self-consciously pulled away. A year ago they would have never done that. If he had come within two feet near her, she would have blasted him, and if she got too close to him he would jump away, rant, or yell, or a combination thereof. After Cousin Larry had defeated Dementor she remembered how his chin had come so close to resting on her shoulder as he had bent over to read the article as she held the paper.

They had become more familiar around each other. Maybe that was just natural after working together and practically living together for so long. Still, to follow this train of thought much farther led to disturbing ideas... It had to be the sun getting to her.

* * *

They managed to hit land at 11 and sneaked across the borders just before noon, pleasing Shego that they hadn't arrived later than when she had wanted. It was another hour-long stint to a large city that had been minimally damaged and mostly repaired. At a swanky hotel she managed to persuade a rather venal desk clerk at a hotel to give them two rooms and ignore their disheveled appearance (she still had a faded streak of lube across her forehead), leading her to be very thankful her well-stocked super-secret Swiss accounts hadn't been tampered with in the global chaos. Even if Dr. D was being honored by COWUN, they were still criminals and it never hurt to ensure anonymity.

* * *

She still wasn't sure how she felt about all of this. She stood in the doorway, a week after they had arrived at the hotel, watching as Drakken scribbled away furiously, his chair and waste basket covered by crumpled balls of paper. He had acknowledged to COWUN that he would be at the ceremony and was now desperately trying to pen down some sort of short speech since she had made it quite clear the previous day that if he started ranting she would come up and drag him offstage and put him back in jail herself.

Sure, she had fixed the hovercar and brought him here mainly so that he could do this; after these long, long years of failure she could hardly deny him his moment of glory. For most of those years, she had been the one to most severely berate him for the failures and demand a success. To deny his one and only successful scheme was diving farther into hypocrisy than was comfortable, even for her.

Still, for him to acknowledge openly and be thanked internationally for saving the planet would do, and could do, nothing for her reputation. She might as well announce to the world that she had once been a superhero- a secret she had hidden so well that even Nerdlinger hadn't been able to find it until Kim met Team Go in a completely unrelated set of circumstances.

For his part, Drakken was no more confident. Shego's words from that morning on the beach still echoed in his thoughts, making him doubt what he was doing and throw away the speech draft, only to remember that he had bested Kim Possible. He had saved the world, not her, _he _was all that, not her, and he would grab another sheet of paper and start scribbling away again until the doubts froze his mind for the umpteenth time.

He continued scribbling well past the time dark had fallen. Shego had since moved to the bed where she was lying on her back. Whether or not she was asleep or just in a trance-like state of boredom was debatable. Eventually she stirred, making a very quiet little moan as she rose and stretched. "Dr. D, time to take a break." No response. She snapped her fingers right in front of his face. "Dr. D!"

He jumped, "Who-?! Wha-?! Where-?! Huh? Shego!"

She smirked, "Come on Dr D, you've been writing for so long that I'm getting writer's cramp just looking at you." She leaned over and grabbed the latest version of the speech. "Bestest? Gee Doc, do you think you're the 'most smartest'?"

"Very funny, Shego. I'm not an Englist."

"_Linguist._"

"Stop that!" He snatched the paper back, crumpled it, and tossed it with the others.

"Whatever. Just hurry up and put these on." She tossed a bundle of black fabric at him.

"What?"

"Well you can't go up and give a speech in your lab coat, and I'm a thief, remember? But I don't feel like attracting police attention for once so we're doing old-school cat burglar style."

"But why am I coming?" he whined.

"So you can try things on of course. Now hurry up. I want to be out of here by 1:30." She left him as he gaped open mouthed at the clock that now announced that it was 1:24 AM, instead of the 5:37 PM that it had displayed last time he had looked at it.

* * *

Just as he came out of the bathroom, tugging slightly at the hem of the long-sleeve black shirt, there was a sharp rap on the French doors that led to a very small balcony. Then the door slid open and Shego walked in. She too was dressed all in black; pants and a shirt as opposed to a one-piece catsuit. She scanned him over critically and then nodded her satisfaction. "Very well, Doc. That'll do well enough. There's barely any security where we're headed."

"How do you know?"

"I cased it the past two nights," she said in the attitude of someone explaining some to a very slow five-year-old. "Now let's go." He headed towards the door. "Uh, Doc, where are you going?"

He turned towards her, the pointed at the main door with a confused expression, "Aren't we going-?"

She sighed, "Doc, do you really want to go out in the lobby dressed like that? The night clerk's a stern one and I can't bribe him as easily as the day one. Now come on." He followed her to the balcony.

"Shego, how are we-?"

"Balcony hopping, doy. Just follow me, and whatever you do, don't slip and don't let go." He looked down the 14 stories to the ground and cringed. Shego noticed his reluctance and hopped down from where she was standing on the balcony wall. "Come on, Doc." She laid a hand on his arm. "Just take it one jump at a time and don't look down. Just like climbing the jungle gym at recess." She offered him a small smile, and he gulped and nodded. They paused for a moment, then quickly backed away, her hand falling to her side and the smile vanishing. "Yeah.. come on."

She took it slowly, and to her surprise, he actually did quite well. His vine also offered assistance by wrapping around the nearest protrusion, once preventing him from slipping and falling to the asphalt. Eventually they made it down, and then it was a quick run down a couple alleys, and they reached the security door that, instead of breaking with her plasma, Shego neatly picked. After all, it wouldn't do for the savior of humanity to be caught robbing a clothing store a week before his award ceremony. For this theft she wanted as minimal police involvement as possible, and even less evidence. Creating a loop in the the security camera feed was just as easy.

They sneaked through the dark store to the men's section. Shego browsed around the racks with incredible nonchalance until she had picked out a large pile of clothing. "The changing room is over there. Try everything on. Anything that doesn't fit, leave outside the door." She shoved him in the direction of the rooms.

Once he was gone she went over to the women's section. There was no way she was wearing her catsuit, and she was even less inclined to wear the dress she had used to fool Martin Smarty. When Shego was done, she slipped back to the men's section and knocked on the stall door. "Find anything, Dr. D?" He emerged to show off khaki pants, a button-up shirt, with a black jacket. There was one thing wrong with the whole ensemble though.

He was wearing the stupid bow tie. It looked like the same bow tie he had worn when he had tried to negotiate with Big Daddy Brotherson at the Bermuda Triangle Club. How he happened to have it, Shego didn't want to know.

"Honestly Dr. D," she groaned in frustration. "This. Needs. To. Come. Off." She spat each word out as she deftly undid the offending article. She would have burned it, except that the ashes would leave traces, so she stuck it in her pocket. Then she dragged him out to where the ties were, eyed several, held one against his shirt, put it back, pulled off another, then put it around his neck and deftly knotted it. "There."

"How did you tie that?" Drakken gasped.

She shrugged. "I dunno. You pick up weird things as you go through life. Point is, that looks much better. Go change back and bring those clothes with you." She proceeded to put back the clothes he had discarded. When he returned she threw the clothes into a sack with the items she had picked out, and they returned back to the hotel the same way, Drakken's vine being of immense help in hoisting him to the next level when he simply couldn't match Shego's athleticism.

As she let him back into his room she dumped his clothes into his arms. "Get some sleep Dr. D. Order up some room service when you wake up. We'll leave for New York late tomorrow afternoon..." And then she was gone, as if she had been made of smoke.


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: Almost half-way through. Thanks for the reviews! Especially you anonymous people I can't reply to. And thanks once again to Donteatacowman for beta-ing!_

_Standard disclaimer applies.

* * *

_

Chapter 5

The room was dark and heavily imposing, the gloom oppressive, as if the venerable bankers of the Industrial Age were in their stiff black suits, smoking their putrid cigars, and contemplating your fate from the shadows with as little care as if they were discussing the weather. Drakken shifted nervously in one of the seats that looked plush and comfortable, but was really a straight-backed wooden chair in another guise. On the opposite side of the dark oaken table was a man who sat rigidly upright, his face was as unmovable as stone. He was Asian, probably in his late twenties, and his whole demeanor screamed that he was a "Do it by the rule book, or I'll tell and you'll lose your job" type, yet arrogant enough to avoid obsequiousness. Drakken squirmed again, wishing that whatever was going to happen would occur soon; the repressive stillness of the bakers' glares was bearing down on him.

This morning a man wearing the dusty navy blue of Global Justice had banged at his hotel room door, presented a badge, and demanded that Theodore "Drew" Lipsky, alias Dr. Drakken, get dressed and come with him. Drakken had panicked, thinking that he was being arrested for Shego's and his raid on the clothing store two nights previous. However, the man, sensing Drakken's worry if not the cause, had assured him that this was just a formality preceding his acceptance of the Knowble Prize. The assurance had also luckily stopped Drakken promptly enough that the mad scientist had not uttered anything incriminating.

It was now long after the time that the knock had been heard, and most of the period had been spent in this foreboding room. Drakken twiddled his thumbs, looking about idly. His several attempts at conversation with the other man, another GJ agent but not the one who had accompanied him from the hotel, had gone ignored with not even the batting of an eyelash to give sign of recognition. The only sound was that of a clock that someone had inconsiderately hung on the wall.

_Tick…_

_Tick…_

_Tick…_

_Tick…_

_BANG!_

Alright, that last one was just in his imagination. He had been devising a sundry of over-complicated plans, such as his brain seemed to always do with or without his consent, and the ticking on the wall had driven him to such distraction that one of his plans had quite nicely featured the clock blowing up into a myriad of small pieces. Even if it had only been imagined, the destruction had still been quite satisfying.

"Hello, Drakken."

"Yie-!" He sprang up in his seat, turning to see what had just whispered in his ear. Dr. Betty Director was standing with a smug look on her face that seemed much more sly and self-satisfied than Shego's smirks ever did.

Dr. Director walked around the table to sit besides her agent. When she spoke her tone was succinct and icy cold, "I'll have you know that there are guards just outside this room, and more throughout the building and patrolling outside. If you try anything I will have you cuffed and shackled before you can say 'prison'. Do I make myself clear?"

There was no choice but to nod.

"Very good. Now we can turn to the matter at hand…" The agent slid a manila folder to rest on the table in front of her. "You, Lipsky alias Drakken, are wanted by 12 nations including, but not limited to, America, Canada, England, and Japan, and are wanted various other states, provinces, etc. Do you deny this?"

He shook his head.

"You have been recently allied with Team Possible in response to the hostile actions of a foreign group known as 'Lorwardians', and assisted in the defeat of said group."

Again, he nodded. The silent agent was staring at him coldly, and he returned the glare.

"As such, each of the 12 nations, and other legal bodies, has agreed that in return for your services, as acknowledged by Mr. Ron Stoppable of Team Possible, you shall receive complete amnesty for your past crimes and are to be awarded the Knowble Prize by Council of the World's United Nations."

Drakken was unsure how he was supposed to respond, so he ignored the head of GJ and returned to glaring with resentment at the male agent's tacit contempt and disapproval. Dr. Director ignored the two men's childish display.

"Let me say that I do not approve of this. However, as we are a secret international organization that technically doesn't exist, I can do little to stop it other than attempts to obliquely dissuade them through various sources." Her cohort smirked, and Drakken growled, wishing more than anything to unleash a laser upon this too-slick upstart. "Drakken!" Her tone was not loud, but it was sharp and he immediately looked up, sat up straight, and folded his hands on the table in front of him, as if he were a schoolchild caught in the act of sticking gum in a girl's hair.

"As I was saying, I cannot dissuade them, so you will be receiving amnesty. However, you will do well to remember that GJ _does not exist_." She leaned over the table slightly, decreasing the distance between them, so that Drakken could make no mistake of what she was saying. "I can have my people track and monitor you, within limits of course, so that if you so much as steal a pack of gum, you _will_ be found out and _can_ be pulled in. Of course, I don't want to have to do it, it's incredibly annoying for me and my subordinates, but you will remember that _I can_. I do not trust you, and you do not want to do anything that justifies that opinion."

The man by her side was clearly agitated by this speech, but true to his stifling persona, he kept his mouth shut so as to not embarrass or annoy a superior in front of an "enemy".

She leaned back into her chair. "Some of your… _associates_," she spoke as if the word left a bad taste in her mouth, "have been invited to the ceremony: Duff Killigan, Lord Monty Fiske alias Monkey Fist, and Frugal Lucre, among others. You cousin, Motor Ed, has also been invited along with your mother, Gertrude Lipsky. Now, I believe we are done here." Betty Director placed the papers back into the folder and gave it back to the Asian. "Agent Du, you will escort Mr. Lipsky to the car that will return him to his hotel."

Drakken, slightly stunned from the pronouncement that he had just heard, also rose as the agent, Du, came to stand behind him. Then a thought struck Drakken. "Wait! What about Shego?"

Dr. Director turned to face him and raised an eyebrow. "What about Shego?"

"How many countries are giving Shego amnesty? Shouldn't you tell her?"

Dr. Director sounded slightly incredulous that Drakken was even asking. "None of the 22 countries that have a warrant out for her arrest have offered amnesty. Frankly, she's considered more dangerous than you, and her part in defeating the Lorwardians was so minimal that there is no reason to grant her amnesty as a token of thanks. Frankly, you're only getting it because the political leaders believe their populaces wouldn't be too happy if they discovered that their government had arrested one given credit for helping save the Earth. Besides, based on testimonial from Kim Possible regarding a mission, we have reason to believe that Shego might have actually helped provoke the so-called invasion."

"But Shego helped save me, and Kim Possible! She drove the Kepler II, not the Buffoon, whose name I always seem to forget, but…"

"Dr. Drakken." Dr. Director was clearly fed up with Drakken's antics. "As I told you, I can do nothing but offer persuasions or dissuasions. I see no reason for Shego to receive amnesty, so I shall not try to persuade the politicians otherwise. Besides, if amnesty was an option for her, I would not be above subterfuge to assure that she would never receive it. There is hope that you will reform, as proven by your efforts to save civilians. There is no such hope for Shego; I'm sure you've heard the saying 'no honor among thieves'. Good day."

Agent Du placed a heavy hand on Drakken's shoulder and guided him out of the room, and down a maze of hallways. "I am in control of your… _observation_," whispered Du over the blue man's shoulder. "And I am not as lenient as Dr. Director. Remember that."

"You are… are an impudent child!" sputtered Drakken in frustrated anger. "I am superior to you, and all of your cronies. I am Dr. Drakken!"

"Not anymore, you're not. You are Mr. Theodore 'Drew' Lipsky, civilian. Any sign of Dr. Drakken, and you can be sure that I will have the army of every country, and that amateur Kim Possible, after you. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal," muttered Drakken.

* * *

Drakken moped into his hotel room, Agent Du having given him one last parting glare in the lobby. He had knocked on Shego's door, only to find the room empty. She had probably gone to the pool, but he didn't really have the energy to go find her. After all, what was the point? She didn't like hanging around with him, she was always bored and mocked him, or ignored him, or was begging for a raise or vacation. To find her would only annoy her and cause him pain. Regardless of being able to hang with her, there wasn't even a "professional" reason to seek her out. He wasn't sure of his own thoughts, so how could he justify them to her?

What would he do with amnesty? Nearly all of his adult life had been spent planning elaborate plans to prove his genius to those who had teased him, especially Chen, Ramesh, and James. Now though, it was unnecessary, he realized that. What world domination plan could top the respect that came with being one of the saviors of humanity, equal with the "all-that" Kim Possible? There was really nothing to do but to go straight. Become normal. Become like everybody else… well, except perhaps in skin color. He didn't want that. He had been abnormal as long as he could remember, and to become normal… It seemed like that was losing a part of him. He was crazy, he was insane, he was an egotistical maniacal genius who didn't care about other people and, more often than not, couldn't understand people even if he did want to.

He could go straight, it was possible. He had proven to be a capable businessman: his takeover of Bueno Nacho had been one of his more successful schemes, and Hank's Gourmet Cupcakes and been so profitable he had almost considered giving up evil. Admittedly Lather, Rinse, Obey had been a disaster, but Shego had said that was because of his picture on the bottle. So he couldn't be in marketing… or finance perhaps, but still, he was able to run a company.

That is, if he was still alive after Shego was done with him. She had fixed the hovercar and stolen him clothes so that he could be rewarded and acknowledged, even prior to that, she had sacrificed her reputation to save him. Her actions had been uncharacteristically... _nice._ And now he had to fire her. There was no possible way Shego would be credulous enough to believe his story that he didn't want to fire her, even if it was true. Wait, he should be _glad_ to get rid of her. She was annoying, ungrateful, mean, demanding, bossy, sarcastic, and violent. Yet she had stuck with him through thick, thin, and failure… or had at least returned eventually after leaving.

It was all too confusing.

So he collapsed on his bed, hoping he wouldn't see Shego for a long time. He would rather not have to deal with bruises.

* * *

Several hours later he woke up, grimacing as he put his hand on the wet spot left from his drool. His sleep had also left him with a strange sense of determination. He was going to make Dr. Betty Director eat her words.

It was an easy matter to find a store, wander inside, pick up a random object, stow it under his coat (bought the first day they had arrived in the city), and walk out of the store. Of course, the item selected hadn't been entirely random. It had, in fact, been a very expensive item. Therefore it was no surprise that when he turned into an empty street a man in a dusty dark blue uniform came up to him and directed him to a van idling by the curb. He could only be thankful that the man wasn't Agent Will Du.

* * *

"Drakken!" The voice beyond the bars was truculent and furiously sharp. Then it became frighteningly controlled. "Already tired of the straight and narrow? Missing your friends back at the supermax?" Dr. Director was feared for a reason. Of course, her intimidation factor was helped by the fact that she wore an eye patch.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"So you pull this stupid stunt? I really shouldn't be surprised, after all, you're not known for brains."

"Hey!" He started to retaliate, but seeing Dr. Director's smirk reminded Drakken of his purpose. "Well, it seems to have worked since I'm talking to you."

"Very well, what do you want?"

"I want Shego to have amnesty as well."

"I told you my feelings on that. There is no way I will permit it."

"But I can make it happen."

"You cannot."

"You may have influence, but I, _I _am the defeater of aliens, equal to Kim Possible, and co-savior of un-enslaved humanity."

"You are just a neophyte at manipulation. You can't succeed. How are you going to persuade them over my people? You can hardly aim a laser at their head and demand it, now can you?"

"Is that a challenge?"

She scoffed. "Hardly. There is no challenge."

"Well then, I guess you can let me go and not worry."

"You can go. Our agent returned your theft by the way. But I will never not worry about you. You've done too much damage in the past for that to happen," she hissed with venom.

"Goodbye then. And tell your guard thank you for the shortbread." He smirked in satisfaction as he heard her yelling down the hall.

* * *

So there it was. He had just spent the past three days calling every one of the 22 Heads of State and an additional 45 governors (or whatever they were called), multiple times if need be to counteract Dr. Director's people's nay-saying, and had begged, persuaded, and bribed Shego's way to amnesty. He had tried so hard to think this plan through. He remembered his brilliant University plan, where he had been defeated because he had forgotten to build the building to seismic standards, and when entire continents move buildings fell and inventions were destroyed. This time he had tried to plan for every little thing. He had even worked out a rough script so as to prevent the ranting outbursts he was so prone to.

He didn't think of it in terms of helping Shego. He didn't _help_ people. That word never came to mind. No, it was just practice. Practice for manipulating people. It was like taking over the world, only instead of lasers, you used words. He would prove to that arrogant Dr. Director that he, Dr. Drakken, was superior! Yep, it was just another egotistical need to prove himself. Help and charity were completely foreign words to him.

Shego would receive her amnesty. Remembering back to a few years ago, he had called Team Go and had invited them to the ceremony to see their sister. Shego wouldn't be happy about that, but if he had gone through all this effort for her, and had to suffer his own mother and Cousin Eddy, he had no qualms about making her suffer a little as well.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The curtains hung on either side of the darkened platform. The lights that brightened the seating area in front made strange shadows on the stage, dimly silhouetting chairs and a podium. Shego leaned against a wall amid the ropes and switches of backstage, appearing as nonchalant as ever. However, on the inside, she was feeling slightly… jumpy? Frankly, the situation was weirding her out. Here she was, lurking in the shadows as was second nature to her, but every so often a world leader would pass by and would nod or offer a small smile, instead of trembling with fear or indignation, before continuing on their path. It was just plain _odd_.

Where was Drakken? After all, the only reason she was here being smiled at was because of him. She would have just tied up the Lorwardians and left them to crash with their ship… which in retrospect would have probably created a massive fire in whatever city it had landed in, and she would have been accused for creating even more casualties. What could she say? She was good at creating chaos. She was a malefactor.

The point was, she was only here for Drakken and he had been whisked off to some meeting or something the second they had arrived. Probably meeting dignitaries and gorging himself on donuts. Ugh. Shego hated donuts. They were just so sweet and just… _ew_. It would be funny though if he had a jelly or frosted one and his teeth were a weird color when he went to give his speech. If that happened, she would never let him live it down. He had better get back soon though. This was the third time that an officious... did he have a position? It was a teenage boy, old enough for acne but too young for facial hair. Some family member had probably secured his job here, and he apparently took great pride in it. He spoke to her in an overly condescending manner, telling her not too subtly where she needed to be so as to not get in the way of those who far outranked her. The next time the kid talked to her like that, she would knock his block off even if it meant Dr. Director would be pulling her amnesty, not to mention bail and parole, for the next 80 years.

She dismissed the kid, elucidating very slowly as if he were slow mentally. "No, I would not like one of your stupid, and very stale, donuts. And I promise I will not push any world leader off the stage. Not that I would have any compunction about doing that…" She watched the kid's eyes widen, and then narrow in anger. She smirked. "But, really, don't worry about me. I've spent the past couple weeks keeping low, and I have no wish to bring Princess down on my head at this particular point in time. Now go find your girlfriend if you have one and make out or something, just leave me alone. Got it?" He started to open his mouth to argue. Very casually Shego lifted her hand as if to examine her nails, and her hand was encased in the green fire for a brief moment. Then it was gone, and her hand was replaced on her hip as she stared at the teenager. He stared open-mouthed at her hand. "I would go now if I were you." He walked away very quickly, nervously adjusting with his tie, trying to maintain his dignity. Shego smirked in satisfaction; frightening people was always fun.

"Hey, Shego!" A hand was clapped upon her shoulder.

She spun to see Drakken and glared at him, shoving his hand off her shoulder. "Long time no see, Doc."

"Oh, well… heh, heh… you know how it is. Fame, world dignitaries…"

"No, I don't know how it is," she replied shortly. For some inexplicable reason, as soon as she saw Dr. D a feeling of resentment and anger had suddenly swelled up inside of her. Why was she here in this stupid dress, in these stupid heels? There was no reason for her to be here…

Drakken stammered nervously. He had actually been conferencing with Betty Director who was issuing last minute threats and re-clarifying previous conditions. It was like she was prognosticating that he'd steal the medal and run for it. However, there had been an alert that her evil twin brother Gemini was on the premises, and she and her agents had dashed off after issuing one more ominous glare at the blue man.

"You um…" What would placate her? Shego's mood was so mercurial. Last time he had seen her she had been, if not happy, at least mildly enjoying herself. And now she was mad again! "You… look nice in that dress."

It was a nice dress. It was actually made of silk, the torso a light green color with a slightly plunging neck, a black belt accented the hips, and the long skirt that came to her ankles to display strappy black high heels was a mottled black and forest green.

Shego looked at him strangely, her reaction to his compliment rather tepid, "Okay… whatever then."

The awkward staring contest was broken by a loud voice, the tone of which could be considered anything other than euphonious, and which cut through any other noise. "See, that's my son there. He's such a hero. The girls at bingo are so proud… Hello Drewbie!"

Shego snickered behind her hand. Mrs. Lipksy was there, dragging the teen boy behind her as he was clearly trying to restrain her, nearly bent double from the differences in their heights.

"Oh, Drewbie. This nice young man told me just where you were." The "nice young man" glowered. "I just had to see you before the ceremony. I know afterward you'll just be swamped from admirers, and I wouldn't want to distract you from them. It's so important to make a good impression, although of course you've already done that. My big boy, being internationally recognized; oh, it's just too exciting!" The woman reached up and grabbed him around the waist, giving him a bone-crushing son. "I saw you on the TV, and I got to tell all the ladies how my son helped save the world! Of course, Jo-Ann made some comment about your skin, but don't worry darling, I set her straight. The rest of them all wanted to meet you, but I thought that it would be wrong to exploit the fact that I'm your mother, but you will try to come and see them won't you? It'd mean so much to your poor old mother."

Shego sighed. Drakken was so intimidated by his mother's presence that he would never dream of telling _her_ to zip it. So long as she didn't start on her favorite subject: her son's social life, or lack thereof. If that happened she was stealing the hovercar. Drakken could get a ride to Bingo Night with his Mama.

"Madame? Madame. Madame!" A tall man, probably some sort of security personnel judging from the crisp navy blue outfit, stood next to the boy who was watching Mrs. Lipsky helplessly.

"Oh, hello officer! I was just talking to my son here? Have you met him? You know, he just helped save the world and-"

"Yes, Madame, I am aware. However, the ceremony is about to start, and I have to ask you to allow me to escort you back to your seat."

"Why, how nice! Of course you may. 'Bye Drewbie!" Both of the two ex-villains heaved a sigh of relief as the garrulous woman was lead away, the lanky teen tagging after the older two, reluctant to give up his supposed authority.

"Well Drewbie, are we ready to be a big boy and go get your nice gold star?" Dr. Director stated as she walked up. The world dignitaries began filing past to take their places on the darkened stage, the curtains now drawn to shield them until the unveiling moment. "Remember our little talk," and with that she shoved Drakken towards his chair that was on the opposite side of the stage from the dignitaries'.

Shego turned to stalk past Dr. Director to go find the seat in the audience where she had dropped her coat, when the agent's hand grabbed her arm. "Oh no, Shego. You get to sit up there."

"Say what?"

"What?" Betty feigned innocence; rather poorly, Shego thought. "You are his sidekick," she emphasized that word, knowing how much the pale woman hated it, "and helped in his scheme. We thought it only fair that you get some recognition too."

"Out of the goodness of your heart, hmm? How thoughtful of you."

"Just get on the stage."

"I'm goin', I'm goin'. After all, I would hate to ruin the 'award show of the century'." She was quoting the blurb she had read in the newspaper. Apparently rebuilding efforts had been so successful that after only a few short weeks things were already almost back to normal. She knew that it irked the GJ woman to no end to allow Drakken to receive his award, and even more so not to clap him in jail.

She smirked, then walked past Dr. Director to sit on the empty chair to Drakken's left. "Well here you go Doc. All life long dreams fulfilled?"

"Zip the lip, Shego!" he whispered harshly. The lights suddenly turned on creating a harsh glare that made everyone squint for a moment or two.

"I'm being serious, Dr. D. For once. You should treasure it."

He growled slightly, but then the curtain started to part. The ceremony had begun.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The flashes of blinding light surrounded them, the photographers overly anxious to get the shot of the year. Reporters jammed microphones under their noses as TV cameras were thrust at them, nearly hitting others in the head. Where was the security detail to keep these rabid dogs at bay? Oh, right. They had ditched them; old habits die hard.

Then there was shouting and shoving and the masses were parted by the hand of Moses and stiff blue uniforms flanked a path through the waves of humanity. The guards escorted Shego and Dr. Drakken to a small café-like area, similar to the kinds inside large hospitals, that was on the bottom floor of the building. The other villains were all there, sipping lattes and eating (or gorging) on cookies or brownies. The whole scene was rather ludicrous: DNAmy fawning over a stone Monkey Fist, Dementor is his usual helmet ranting to no one in particular, Camille transforming from Bonnie back to her normal persona… all of the villains sitting there in full regalia sipping coffee like any soccer mom on a Wednesday afternoon.

Drakken immediately ran for the counter hosting a myriad of (probably stale) confections. "Oooh, look at those brownies! They have fudge frosting… and sprinkles!" Shego sighed, what had she really expected of him? That he would develop some sort of dignity? But then, she supposed, mocking him would be no fun if he had dignity.

She walked over to the counter and ordered a medium coffee, black. The girl behind the counter stared at her for a second, disbelieving that a female had just come in and not ordered one of the confusing "Fretalian" options written in curly script on the wall menu. Shego dropped her money on the counter impatiently, startling the girl into action.

Noticing that Drakken was still pressed to the case of baked goods, she viewed the room. Every villain steadily ignored her, continuing on in their chatter. She was suddenly hit by a sense of unease… a feeling that only increased when Drakken trotted over to Dementor with a pastry and latte in hand, and plopped in to an empty seat and Dementor instantly began talking to him. Abandoned by Drakken… and isolated from the other villains both by choice and now even more so by an event that had almost been completely out of her control. After all, one thought of saving one's life before they thought of long-term social consequences. She had antipathy for most of the other villains in any case, and them for her, but she had managed to get along with Junior and Motor Ed had never missed an opportunity to hit on her (how she loathed the man).

She took her coffee and stepped outside through a door. Leaning against the wall she gratefully pulled off her heels. At least it was nice outside. Maybe there was some credibility to that Karma thing. She stood there, gratefully soaking up the heat from the sidewalk where her feet just stretched past the boundaries of shadow.

Her mind drifted back to the ceremony which hadn't been as long or tedious as she had feared, and it had even avoided being hackneyed. Although, she supposed there were no clichés for a super-villain _saving_ the world. That probably also explained the lack of anything truly poignant- the whole situation was too awkward. No matter how sincere their thanks, those dignitaries probably had every security detail they had scouring the grounds for some kind of doomsday device. She should have planted a fake bomb just to freak them out. Villains never used bombs; they were just so _messy_, it went against the Book of Evil, and it really jacked up your jail time and the severity of your sentencing. Still, it would have been funny to see them all scrambling around panicking.

Still, there had been three speeches: one by the American president, one by the head of TNA(AOADN)TO: The North Atlantic (And Other Areas Deemed Necessary) Treaty Organization, and one by the governor of New York (that was where the final battle had taken place). All three were extremely meticulous in remembering their political correctness and not mentioning much of their villainy other than that one "rescued souls" and "new-found integrity" comment. That was one politician who would be slammed for being too religious.

_"And now, we ask Andrew Theodore Lipsky to step forward to receive the Knowble Prize." There was a smattering of applause and she saw Dr. Drakken look around nervously before standing up. He took a step forward before he stopped and turned back towards her. One gloved hand was extended towards her and she looked at him in surprise. He nodded, suddenly seeming sure of himself. As soon as she stood he dropped her hand, but she didn't mind. She didn't do weird touchy-feely polite social graces things like that. She followed him a few paces, but let him approach the dignitaries alone._

It had felt odd, standing there on the stage. She wasn't used to being in the limelight. Hego and Mego and taken it all during the Team Go days, and as a thief you generally weren't posing for shots and accepting interviews. She was a thief, a mercenary, a saboteur: all professions that stayed in the shadows, not the flashes of cameras. So she had hung back, watching as Dr. Drakken, once again looking unsure and timid, had a large gold medal hung around his neck.

_As the weight rested on his neck, he nervously stepped up to the podium. He was worried about his speech, realized Shego. The king of monologing and ranting was worried about speaking in front of a crowd. How ironic. Even if he did do something horribly egregious it would probably just slide by. The world was still too much in aftershock to be mocking their savior._

_As he walked to the podium she looked out at the audience. The villains were scowling, although Lucre seemed happy. And stupid as he waved about one of those foam #1 fingers. Dr. Betty Director sat glaring with her agents and Shego carefully avoided meeting the stare. And then there was Team Go, all of them looking bored. What the heck were they doing here?! But it wouldn't do to create a scene now… (Since when did she think like that? Something must be wrong with her.) The rest of the audience seemed slightly distracted. No doubt they had noticed Drakken's hesitant attitude and were steeling themselves for a speech flawed by vacuity at best. _

_Then she realized how terrified he had to be, giving a speech for something against everything he had stood for during the past 5, 10, 20 or so years, and to a crowd that was clearly not that receptive. She would have never given it a second thought. With her attitude her speech would have been "Thanks. I deserve it. Now we can all go home." However, this was the pinnacle of his career. He was being internationally recognized, and he was being glared at. Even in being awarded he was shot down._

_Since when had she started seeing things from other people's point of view? That implied that she actually cared which, of course, she didn't._

_Still she offered him a small encouraging smile, and made a small gesture towards the podium with her hand. No matter what it looked like, the world was his oyster at the moment (hopefully one with a pearl). Saps all across the world would probably being hanging on every word he said as it was broadcast across whatever forms of news distribution were up and running. He had won for once… and she was happy for him._

_It was an odd feeling, being happy for someone else. But she had no time to contemplate it because she was suddenly jerked violently to the side as that darn vine sprouted from Drakken's neck, wrapping them both in a death grip like some kind of python. Her hip bumped awkwardly against his leg and her head jerked to be met by his face. She wasn't being this close to people (hand to hand combat didn't count) and it was unsettling. A small awkward, apologetic smile mirrored on each other's face, and she began to try to pry the plant off and Drakken commanded it angrily to release them. A few embarrassed chuckles and they straightened their clothes, and Drakken gave his speech, the audience now paying rapt attention to the figures on stage._

That moment had just been _too_ weird. It hadn't even been unpleasant… just embarrassing because it had happened up there, on stage. She peeped back through the door and watched Drakken say something huffily to Dementor. The Doc wasn't really unattractive… but he was annoying, childish, egotistical… the exact same qualities as her brothers. So why didn't she hate him? Why had she stuck around with him for four and a half years? It just didn't make sense.

Shego didn't like self-examination or whatever it was called. She normally knew what she wanted, who she was mad at, and what degree of violence would get what she wanted for the least amount of effort. She was recalcitrant to the point where she didn't need or even want guidance from herself, just her eyes as a targeting system. Psychology was a waste of time. It was much easier to slide down to the concrete, pull her skirt up a tad to expose the rest of her calves to the sun and listen to the hum of traffic. She just wished she had a magazine.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The sun baked the concrete, curls of heat rose off the asphalt causing it to appear to shimmer. Was it really so hot as to cause mirages? Shego squinted as she peered through the heat. There were three blurs on the far side of the parking lot, two red, a purple, and a blue. Maybe she should have gone have gotten an iced coffee instead. Even if July in New York City wasn't as warm as in the Caribbean, it was still pretty darn hot. She pulled the lid off her cardboard coffee cup. There was only about an inch left so she gulped it, and without standing up, tossed the cup and lid into a garbage can about 8 feet away.

_Dang, I must be really feeling the heat._ Those mirages were getting larger and were showing a proclivity towards looking like her brothers. _Oh no... that is not good. Please don't be them, please don't be them..._ The colored smudges were now showing a pattern of their respective color and black, and near the top were smaller, paler blotches that could only be faces. _Oh good God, they __are__ my brothers._ Superman incarnate, without the flying, and his… "quirky" sidekicks. _Although for them, "demented" might be a more accurate description than "quirky"._

The question of whether or not to run was answered for her as the mirages became people and her brothers stood around her in a semicircle, trapping her where she sat against the wall. "Sis!" Hego bellowed, suddenly making Shego very glad she was sitting. That way, he couldn't grab her in one of his bear hugs. "I just knew you'd come back to the side of the good! Anyway, now that you're back I figured we could redo Go Tower and ma-"

"WHAT?!?!?!?!" She screeched. Suddenly despising the lack of height her position provided, she scrambled to her feet. (She was still nearly a foot and a half shorter than Hego, and 6 inches less than Mego, but still she was on her feet and her prowess in the martial arts made up for the lacking inches.)

As Hego stammered for an answer, Mego chimed in snidely, "See? I told you she wasn't joining us. Why don't you ever listen to me?"

"You didn't say anything of the sort!" complained the Wego twins. "You just kept whining about how nobody was paying attention to you!"

"SHUT UP!" Shego screamed. "And this is why I am NOT coming back! Of all the incapable, whining, clueless, egotistical idiots, you are the absolute WORSE!"

* * *

Inside the café the other villains could hear Shego's screech. "What is da Fraulein shouting about?" complained Dementor. "Drakken, you ought to have the better control of your sidekick."

"She's yelling at her brothers," confided Drakken. "Since I had to put up with my mother and E-…" He noticed that Mother Ed was sitting nearby, "My mother, I figured I'd invite Shego's family too."

"Shego has a family? Dis I did not know…" mused Dementor. Drakken promptly starting kicking himself in the head as he realized none of the other villains knew of Shego's background. He hadn't even known until after the incident with Aviarious. Shego had managed to hide her past from everyone, including Kim Possible's geek kid, a near impossible feat.

"Oh, well um yeah… Funny story. See she has these brothers, who are quite ordinary, there's really nothing unusual about them, and Shego pretty much hates them and has only talked to them about twice in the past 6 or 8 years…"

"T'is is very interesting… I did not know t'at about da Fraulein. Perhaps we zould meet dees brothers of hers. Ja?"

Another scream rattled the windows and a flash of green threw eerie shadows. "No, you really don't want to do that," pleaded Drakken, but the other villains' curiosity had been raised and they followed Dementor towards the door.

* * *

Outside, Hego ever loquacious when it came to noble speeches, had attempted to charm his sister through eloquence. Obviously, it only served to make Shego even angrier. Hego loved the sound of his own voice, always had, and had a tendency to make overly grand pronouncements of the most mundane events. His speeches were never facile, they were overbearing and so full of "inspiring" clichés they would make any politician happy. Shego had hated it when she was just his sister, had hated it as a member of Team Go, and hated it more now. Instead of merely disparaging him, a new level of fury rose to violence. She blasted him with her plasma, sending him flying back several feet. The other three ran to lift their brother to his feet.

It didn't occur to Shego that maybe the reason she was more annoyed than usual was that she was struggling with what her future would hold now that she and Drakken had saved the world and the blue guy was the biggest hero since Jesus. But as before, Shego didn't believe in introspection so she missed that facet.

"Hego! When will you get this through your dumb thick skull?! I am _never_ joining your stupid little team again! I would rather claw out my own eyes! I AM NOT EVER COMING BACK!"

"Back? What is dis? Fraulein Shego and brothers being in de similar outfits? And apparently wit' a little feud, no?"

Shego turned around in horror. Behind her stood all the villains with varying expressions of surprise or distrust (admittedly there were a few of apathy too, but those didn't matter). "DRAAAAAAAKENNNNNNN!" He was shoved forward from the back of the crowd. "What did you do?"

He cringed. How did she always know when he did something wrong? "Well, emm… they heard you yelling and I might have… um… you know, accidentally said youwereyellingatyourbrothers." The last part was rattled off very quickly.

"So, introduce us to these gentlemen," came Señor Senior Sr.'s voice as he too stepped forward. "It seems most impolite to be discussing this when we are not properly introduced."

Shego gawked at him, then with a snarl waved her hand in a angry gesture towards her brothers, "Hego, Mego, Wego twins." Then she waved her hands at the villains, "Villain community at large." She glared at Senior and he merely smiled at her, knowing how much he had irritated her.

"So these are your friends-" Hego began.

"Can it," snapped Shego. "We're villains. Villains don't have friends."

"Whad abouw my wittle bitty Cuddle-Buddies?" cooed DNAmy, "De are my fwiends." The other villains tried not to gag. The woman was mad as a hatter and a brilliant geneticist, but her copious collection of stuffed animals made her more scorned than admired. Of course it was entirely appropriate for the scientist whose creations were living Cuddle-Buddies, but it was still creepy for a middle-aged woman to be so obsessive about a child's toy.

"Yes, well… Thanks for stopping by, Hego," said Shego with false sweetness. "But I think it's time for you to go now. Nice seeing you. Buh-bye." She forcibly turned them and shoved them away. In Hego's ear she whispered fiercely, "Next time you try to drag me into your altruism, you'll be so bruised you'll be bed-bound for a month and just think what would happen to your precious Go City then."

Of course, in the years Team Go had been disbanded due to Shego's absence (she was the only one of the 5 who could stay remotely focused on a mission) Go City had faired perfectly well. Hego would never admit to that though. After all, if the city didn't need its proud defenders he couldn't be recognized for living in his comic-book fantasy world.

As Team Go walked off, Shego gave the villains a ferocious glare, and all decided that the now-quiescent scene was not worth their further attention. Shego caught Drakken by the ear and prevented him from slinking inside.

"Let me absolutely candid with you. That was the stupidest thing you have _ever _done. Since you're such the hero now, you clearly don't need a sidekick anymore. When we get back to the hotel I am going to leave, and if you ever try to track me that _will_ be the end of you. Understand?" He nodded meekly, realizing that in this mood Shego was likely to knock down a couple buildings. "And I do expect the rest of the month's pay."

"But Shego-!"

"I'll find you when you leave this joint. Not the other way around." And she stalked off, leaving a very dazed Drakken behind her.

His brain finally recognizing the fact that she was walking away from him, he shouted, "Don't break anything I'll have to pay for!"

The green plasma caught him square in the chest.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Note: Italicized is Shego's thoughts. Bold is her conscience. Odd formatting, I know.  
*This story has been modified from its original version. It has been formatted to fit your has been edited for comprehension and to run in the allotted time. Characters do not belong to me.

_"… but to a hammer, everything looks like a nail_." Good grief, now she had bloody country song lyrics running though her head. Stupid henchmen, they did listen to the worst radio stations. Still, it was appropriate. What could she smash, what to smash…?

**Smash and Dr. Director'll be down on your head.** Stupid conscience always popped up at the worst of times… at least it did lately. Where had it come from anyway? It never used to bother her. **Just think of the headlines… "Reformed Thief back in Prison: 5 minutes after the award ceremony honoring her former employer for saving the world, ex-mercenary/thief was arrested for property damage in the area surrounding the UN building where the awards were being held…" **Shego growled. First she was feeling chagrin from the unwelcome appearance of her brothers, and now from being chastised by her conscience! What the heck was up with that?!

There on the curb was a beautiful car, black and sleek, leather interior, sweet stereo system… it must have cost a fortune. The green flames engulfed her hand as it was drawn back for the punch. **That's not fair to Drakken. Think about it, he's facing the same reluctance from the villains; don't you think he needs your support? Don't you think you can commiserate just a little bit? And you give him that support by running off and smashing cars you know he'll end up paying for.**_ So what? The moron deserves it. And this needs to stop. People are going to start thinking I'm crazy and have split personalities or something._** Who's going to know you have two voices in your head unless you start talking to yourself out loud? **_I work with villains, I'm sure at least one of them has a mind-reading device. Now SHUT UP! _

Shego, whose arm had temporarily relaxed a bit, resumed her position to destroy the car. **Don't you think you're being a bit of a craven?**_ You again? Can't you let me destroy something first? And what do you mean by craven? No one can accuse me of being a coward; I'm Kim Possible's most formidable opponent!_** You're hiding from your feelings… thoughts… sentiment… denying them, repressing them, hiding from them… that seems pretty cowardly to me. **_SHUT UP!!!!!_And the plasma went through the window and out the other side; Shego shielded her face as the glass exploded. **Now you've done it.**_ And I've had enough of you. I'm not going to go crazy yet. _She was running, running away from the blaring car alarm, cursing her skirt and grateful that she had forgotten her shoes. A dash down an alleyway and a few swings up the side of a building, grabbing onto window ledges and fire escapes, and she was safe on the roof tops, watching the pandemonium she had left a few blocks back. Somehow, against all reasonable probability and supporting all Hollywood melodrama, the car's gasoline had ignited causing a wonderfully beautiful conflagration.

**Are you sure you're not crazy?**_ Dang, you're adamant. Don't you ever give it a rest? What happened? You shut up for 10 years or so- I'm grateful for that, you're pretty vacuous__after all- and you choose now to start bugging me?_** Eh, what can I say? It happens when you save the world. I start to feel guilty for going off to that nice resort in Malibu.**_ Guilty, why the heck would you be guilty for that? Whoa, wait a second. This is getting way too psychotic. Go away!_** Fine, I'll let you deal with Dr. Betty Director on your own.**

Sure enough, GJ agents were appearing on the scene. Shego ducked below the ledge of the rooftop. She was going to be in for it this time… There was no good escape route, and in this dress she wouldn't be able to take on 20+ agents. When she left Drakken, she was so taking one of the hovercars.

* * *

Drakken sat by himself; the other villains were studiously avoiding him, fearing that if Shego came back and saw them associating with him, they too would feel her wrath. After all, she was hardly known for being magnanimous. His coffee was cold now so he got up to throw it away. As he turned away he was met by the same teenager who had been annoying Shego before the ceremony.

"Scary green girl ditchya?" He mumbled through a mouth of donut. "Personally I'd say you're lucky dude. She's scary."

"Do I know you?" asked Drakken, annoyed that someone else had the gall to rub his misfortune in his face.

"I mean really, I like hot girls but she is so not worth it. Did you know her hands can catch on fire? Spontaneously?! Oh right… you two worked together or something didn't you?" His blithe conversational tone made Drakken want to pull his hair out.

"Yes we worked together! Now if you don't mind I was about to go off and sulk!" He made to push the kid aside.

"Whoa dude, chill. I was just talking… ya know, innocuous-like."

"That's a saying?"

"Anyway, I'm just saying, if she's normally that aggressive… Think about it man. You're free now, no one to hen-peck you… You can be your own man, start afresh, be the person you always wanted to be!"

For a moment, Drakken got caught up in the boy's speech. "Yeah!... Wait a minute. Ed put you up to this didn't he?"

The boy's laid-back and cool-guy personality re-morphed into his self-impressed one. "Yes, sir. I wouldn't have done it sir, except… he paid well and I need the money. These suits aren't cheap." And with that he walked off.

Suddenly GJ troops went rushing past the window. Drakken vaguely heard Killigan mutter, "Aye, the lass has done it again. Can she nae stay straight for a few 'ours?"

"Sheeee-GOOOOO!" Drakken rushed out, desperate to find the hover car. There was no way he was getting stuck with the bill for this.

* * *

Drakken floated high above the chaos of firefighters, police cars, GJ agents, and curious onlookers, spitting out leaves as he did so. In his haste he had flown right through a very tall hydrangea bush resulting in his being covered with a number of leaves and twigs. He scanned the roof tops, looking for Shego. How did he know she preferred the roof tops to alleyways? Oh well, that wasn't important at the moment. What was important was that his vine had re-sprouted and was nearly strangling him.

Spluttering, he managed to pull the vine off his neck, but before he could yell, stomp, or otherwise properly punish it, it began waving frantically towards a building behind Drakken. There was a small speck of green and black hiding behind a ledge and an air conditioning unit. Another good question: could the vines see?

Drakken flew quickly to where the green figure was. "Shego, get in. Now!" Startled, she looked up, and seeing her boss she jumped in without another word and they sped off.

"You realize you just managed to destroy your hero reputation, don't you?" asked Shego, curiously subdued.

Drakken was silent for a moment then answered, "I've always said we're an evil family… and evil or not, families stick together."

Shego was surprised at the Doc's maturity. "Thanks… for, you know, saving my hide back there." It was probably one of the most sincere things she had ever said.

Of course, the moment was ruined as the one and only Dr. Betty Director showed up on the view screen. "Both of you are DEAD!"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

A/N: Sorry for the delay. I haven't heard from my beta in ages (Anyone know where donteatacowman is?) so I've decided to update without this being edited. Feel free to point out errors. 1 more chapter after this!

Happy Holidayness to everyone. And remember - reviews are the best gifts of all.

* * *

"_BOTH OF YOU ARE DEAD!"_

There was a second of stunned silence, followed by a flurry of button-pushing as Drakken tried to make the malevolent force of Dr. Betty Director disappear from the view screen. "Drakken, so help you if you don't stop what you're doing this instant!" Drakken obediently cowered in his seat. Shego had taken out her nail file and was paying rapt attention to the task.

"Now, both of you… no. _Shego!_" Drakken was impressed that Shego did not jump in the slightest from the anger the inexorable voice projected.

She lazily uncrossed her legs, and gestured still holding the file, "Can I do for you Miss Director?"

Betty growled at the honorific. "Yes, _Shego,_" she drew out the name with false patience, "You can. You see, I was recently alerted that a car in the vicinity of the COWUN headquarters had caught fire. I was wondering if perhaps you had seen anything." Her voice dripped sarcasm.

"Why no, I don't think I did." She lifted her hand to her chin, pretending to be thoughtful, the other hand still gesturing with the file. "You see, Drakken and I went out for a lovely walk…" She plucked a hydrangea flower from where it lay on the hovercar floor. "And it was just so wonderful that I simply didn't notice much else…" Her voice was high and breathy, and her eyes had a dreamy look.

Sounds of gagging could be heard in the shadows behind the Director, and the woman herself looked faintly disgusted.

Drakken frowned in confusion. A walk? Hadn't she stormed off threatening to quit, and hadn't that flower come from his cursory departure when he had driven through the dang bush? Oh, right. She must be acting sarcastic. He could never tell if she was being sweet or sarcastic.

The normally unflappable Director found herself without words for a moment, before resuming her brisk tone. "Earth to Shego. Earth paging Shego. Come in, Shego, we're losing contact with you." Green eyes gave a ferocious glare that she returned with a smug smirk. "Now, back to business… WHAT IN THE BLUE BLAZES WERE YOU THINKING?!?! You just get recognized by the COWUN, then go out and demolish some fancy boy's car?!" She was breathing hard. It took a lot to get the head of Global Justice out of her normally calm, cool, and collected state so to see this really drove home that she probably wouldn't mind taking out that new grenade launcher for a bit of practice.

"You know me," said Shego flippantly. "I've always had anger management problems." She never could take getting in trouble seriously.

However, the apogee of Betty Director's anger had not passed. "That does not excuse anything! All the strings I pulled for you-" She was interrupted by a loud clamor from Drakken.

"YOU PULLED? I spent _hours_ calling and e-mailing and faxing every official and petty bureaucrat I could get my hands on. You refused to even try, said there was no hope! 'No treasure with honor' or 'thieves with treasure' or 'honor with thieves' or… or… nya, gah, da… YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!"

It seemed to be an excitable day for everyone, thought Shego. The Doc never usually got this aggressive. Despite her musings though, she had not missed the content of what the two were saying. What _were_ they talking about? Well, be it far from her nature not to be direct.

"What _are _you talking about? I mean, really, is it too much to be kept in the loop?"

The other two stared. Then started to stammer; a rushing stream of excuses, the words tumbling over each other. "I thought that- You never- You see- think to tell? But I- Well I didn't- Of course- Then again- I was right…"

"Shut up!" The inscrutable flow of words was abruptly dammed. "I can't hear myself think with you two idiots babbling over one another. Now, I don't trust you," another sharp glare at towards Dr. Director, "And you… well, close enough. Now talk Doc."

Still he cowered. However, a sharp jab to his leg provided enough impetus. "You weren't going to get amnesty… Dr. Director said there was no hope for you to reform…"

"And I was right," Betty injected. "I was trying to obviate a situation like this, but would you listen to me? Of course not."

"Well I will now." She placed a hand over her heart and held the other in the air. "Dr. Director is right… I will never reform." And before the other two knew what was happening, she had zapped the view screen, ripped it out, effectively disconnected any wires, and then took to the controls.

"Shego! What are you doing?!" cried Drakken in horror. She continued flying at a terrific pace, eyes locked onto the air ahead, her mouth stubbornly mute. "You can't!"

"Why not?"

"What?"

"I said: why the heck not?"

"Because- cause… because you'll bring down GJ and the entire world down on us, that's why!"

"You didn't care back when you were building super lasers."

"But… you can't… they… then… I was… on purpose, trying… not wanted… gah! Why must you be so frustrating?!" The two villains were hardly the best at having a cogent debate.

Shego could hardly explain herself to him, after all, to explain her motivations would require an onerous amount of intrapersonal exploration that she was incapable of doing. (She was incapable of knowing she was incapable, preferring to think it stupid and a waste of time when instincts had always served her well enough.) What she did know was that she was mad, and that she wanted to prove something.

You'd think she'd want to prove Dr. Director wrong, but her mind didn't quite work like that. Instead, she was tired of everyone debating over what way she was going to chose to live her life. Would she remain bad, go good, go good but give in and relapse to criminal ways? But no, she wanted to prove that she wasn't a coward, that she wasn't wishy-washy. When she had left her brothers she had sworn never to look back, something that turned out surprisingly easy to do. But lately, she had been wondering, thinking about what she wanted to do. She never thought of growing older, it was a horrible nightmare- losing her edge, losing her looks- but without really thinking about it, she had vaguely acknowledged maybe it was better to go good, that without such a pressure to keep up her reputation the transition would be easier. Not to mention she had kind of wanted to stick around Dr. D…

But anger had done away with all that, and left her only with an ardent passion to prove once and for all that her adopted lifestyle of villainy was the one that suited her. Her paranoia of having her past found out, her brothers and Team Go discovered, had made being a villain, being feared as villain, and proving that she was one of them through and through, her autopilot mode.

"Because I am," she replied shortly, slaloming through a set of trees at a speed that made them little more than passing green blurs. "Here." The hovercar jerked to a violent stop. "Get off. There's no reason for them being after your head as well." Drakken stared. "Look," she said impatiently, "Just get off, go fifty paces that-a-way, turn right, and there'll be a pay phone. Just tell them I kidnapped you or something… the world will believe it." Still he hesitated. "What are you? Slow? Get off! I need to get out of here before those dang GJ fox-hunters come an' get me!"

"I thought we were an evil family… we stick together…."

Shego stared at him, sincerely speechless for the third time in her life. "You... Me... GAH! Dr. D! You don't wanna stick with me, not with the heck Miss Betty Director is going to dish up for me, and I've proven I can't stick with you… not if you choose that life. Now will you get your sorry self out of here?!"

If he wasn't so anti-social and self-centered and generally better at dealing with people, Drakken might have noticed that her tone had become less of an angry command and more of a desperate plea. But this was villains' (or ex-villains') land and everything had to be wrapped in twenty layers of issues rather than being straightforward.

"Fine. Be that way! See if I care!" And he stuck out his tongue before attempting to disembark. (He actually ended up tripping and landing flat on his face.)

She flew off, and he trudged to the pay phone, both bitterly angry with the other, and both with a sense of déjà vu.


	11. Chapter 11

Shego sat in the luxurious boredom of being tortured by nonsensical sitcoms (Can you have amnesia three times running, and each time start over and create a new life? Wouldn't you be drooling and brain-dead… or just plain dead?). A month had passed, and she had managed to stay hidden. Luckily, Betty's man-hunt had been partially thwarted. The President of the United States had said that since Shego had been so recently included in the award ceremonies for the savior of their world, putting out an international alert for the woman would create the kind of confusion they were trying to avoid after the near take-over of Earth. Shego thanked the stars her hacking and bribing skills weren't as rusty as she had feared.

It had been a week since the ceremony and it had taken all of Shego's skills with make-up and hair to make herself appear like any other half-witted law-abiding citizen. She remembered the first time she had been standing at a bus stop as two women read a magazine whose cover featured Drakken with herself in the background. It had taken all her willpower not to burn it, hoping that the likeness wasn't enough to give her away. She couldn't afford to be discovered - not yet, at least.

The villainess-in-limbo found herself constantly tortured by restlessness, exasperated by tiny details, and an inexplicably frustrated with everything, up to and including the world at large. She kept her head low, committing no crimes other than following the status of the hunt for her, and even that was done without her normal criminal flamboyance. And so, annoyed by the effort it took to appear normal, and with no desire or need for a job, she stayed in this dingy little apartment, alternating between the computer, the TV, and a few magazines and books. And she was bored.

And because of this boredom and her typical impatience, she had decided that she was going to go dig her jet out of its secret storage location and then go fly and see just how many planes the Air Force would send after her. To heck with staying undercover. If she wasn't gonna turn good, she might as well be bad.

* * *

Drakken spilled his coffee all over his shirt. "What did you do that for?" he whined. Dr. Director had snuck up on him, and she had no qualms about tormenting the mad scientist just a bit.

"I just thought you'd like to know, _Doctor_," she said smoothly, running a hand along his shoulder, "That we just picked up your girlfriend in restricted air space... practicing nosedives in that jet of hers."

"Oh, typical She- Hey! She is _not_ my girlfriend! I'll have you know she mocked me and inflicted physical pain on me for four years. Hmph!" He crossed his arms, looking down in dismay as that only served to remind him of the coffee spill.

"Touchy, touchy. One would think you wouldn't want me to tell you she's being held in these very facilities." She bent over him, and quietly, conspiratorially, spoke parenthetically, "We pulled a few strings-power that _I_ have." She returned to her normal authoritative stance. "And, we'd like you to talk to her."

* * *

"Yo, Doc." Shego remained slouched against the wall of the small room she was in, looking up at Drakken from her position on the floor. "So... what are you here for? Selling Pixie muffins? Delivering my magazine subscription? Dr. Director wants you to convince me to come do daring deeds for the good of GJ and humanity too if possible?"

"The third one, actually," said Drakken. "Although, if you knew a way to get Pixie muffins in here... the food's worse than in a hospital." He stood nervously in front of the door (the window was bullet-proof, grenade-proof, fire-proof, and plasma-proof he had been assured, but there was still a guard 4 feet to his left).

"Which is why you decided to feed your shirt instead of your stomach?"

"Nyagh! But yeah... I was thinking of... _not _working for GJ, although they have offered to pay me for all my inventions-"

"No ranting." She slid from being propped against the floor to lying spread out on the floor.

"Mock if you must Shego. Where was I?"

She didn't even lift her head. Instead, she curled up into some odd yoga position, causing her voice to be muffled, even with the microphone system. "Not working for Dr. Dictator."

"Right. I was thinking of starting a company." There was silence. He babbled on quickly, "Well, since I managed the Bueno Nacho takeover so well, and Hank's Cupcakes did wonderful even if it was with Hank's help, and I've done other things with selling... I know the shampoo wasn't so hot, but that was a marketing flaw, you said so yourself-"

"What does this have to do with me?" Her legs uncurled, revealing her head, upsidedown and resting on a pillow of hair.

"I was wondering... ifyouwouldjoinme." She gave him a blank stare. At least, he thought it was a blank stare. Her emotions were hard enough to decipher when he could look at her face properly. "ImeanyoucouldbeVPandIwouldpayyoulikeIdidwhenyouweremysidekick-"

"Breathe, Doc," she commanded dryly, her legs parting and coming down, toes perfectly pointed. "Now say it slowly. As in with spaces between the words."

"I was wondering," deep, rather sarcastic breath, "If you would join me in my company," another drawn out pause, "And be VP or something... and I would pay you and everything like that." No answer. "I'd give you a corner office. A floor if you want. Not the top one though because that's mine." The last sentence was finally back to his normal speed of talking.

There was a long pause as Shego continued to slowly move from one contortionist position to another. Finally, she arched over into a bridge, and then a perfect back-walkover left her facing Drakken, separated only by a panel of super thick, highly reinforced glass. "Fine Doc. But I want a contract from you and Dr. Dictator. Then, _maybe_, we'll have a deal."

He smiled. They were partners again.

**The (Sappy) End**

_A/N: So I had planned a sequel for this, well, planned at least half of a sequel, and even wrote an intro, but with the lack of response that this story received, I'm not sure I should really invest any energy in finishing it. If you want to read it, let me know and I'll try to dedicate what little time I have b/w Robotics and APs and more Robotics... Else I'm probably back to my one- and two- shots. _

_Anyway, thank you to those who reviewed, and appreciation to those who read (and annoyance at you all for not reviewing. Really, even if it's just saying hi, I don't mind. A laptop and paperwork make lousy companions.) And thanks to Donteatacowman for reviewing the first nine chapters._

_Ogehsim out!_


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